Sunday 25th December 

CHRISTMAS DAY 

We unwrapped Christmas presents before we went to church. Fred and Alfred each got a tin trumpet, and a small Noah’s Ark to share, which unfortunately proved to be lacking an elephant. Alf very upset over this omission. Papa convinced him that it had merely strayed and made a miniature poster which he pasted onto the side of the boat: ‘Lost elephant. Much missed. Reward £50, No Questions Asked.’ Letty got a little doll with a dented wax head; Harriet, a Dutch doll with a ragged dress made out of paper; Fanny, a cameo brooch of a lady in an old-fashioned bonnet, which had once belonged to Mama’s mother. Papa gave me a small leather wallet. I restrained myself from pointing out that it would not serve much purpose – they have not given me any pocket-money in weeks! 

Christmas dinner was a very poultry affair. We could not afford a decent goose, nor even a half respectable duck, and had to make do with the most pinched and pathetic chicken. Mrs Protherbus had already left to visit her family in Greenwich and so Mama took sole charge of the bird, which emerged from the oven looking positively skeletal. Papa, who had drunk a good deal of wine, found it highly amusing and loudly declared that it seemed more worthy of a burial than a feast; that it was the veritable ghost of a bird; a fowl spectre &c &c. Mama burst into tears. She did not fully recover her spirits until the plum pudding. 

We then played whist and told stories. Papa had a rare old tale about a parish watchman and a goblin. He was very good at imitating the rickety old watchman and I remarked that he should have been on the stage. Mama exclaimed, ‘Lord preserve us! That is the very last thing this family needs!’ 

Pa looked a little wounded. He said he was sorry that he could not find a goose and will write to the Navy Pay Office about increasing his pension ‘on compassionate grounds.’