27th January 1826

Sykes came round in the evening to read all about the human sacrifices in The Terrific Register. He was very keen on the Mexicans ripping out the hearts of vanquished prisoners. After he had read the article through a couple of times, we made a jolly good game of it with Fred and Alfred. But then Alf started to cry when Will jumped on top of him and pretended to tear open his chest with a butter knife. Will is a surprisingly good actor. I was rather inspired and immediately wrote some new lines for my play:

Pistacchio: Halt, villain! What foul infamy is this?

Mexican: You have stumbled upon the altar on which this rogue is bound to die, sir! The gods demand vengeance!

Pistacchio: Hold fast! What was this fellow’s crime?

Mexican: An awful murder which merits the most awful punishment! Theretofore I shall scoop out his heart and spread his blood like damson jam!

Will read them through out loud – a little too loud, perhaps – and said they were very good lines, especially about the jam. I think I am already becoming skilled at playwriting, as they only took me ten minutes.

11 o’clock p.m.

Thinking about the ins and outs of human sacrifice will only distract you for so long.

SELENA!

You have unwittingly scooped out my heart and sacrificed me on the altar of your love.